The Oxford Dictionary defines 'fate' as being "The development of events outside a person's control, regarded as predetermined by a supernatural power", or, "The course of someone's life, or the outcome of something, seen as outside of their control.' The definition of 'destiny' is "The hidden power believed to control future events." From this, it is easy to understand why the words fate and destiny are often used interchangeably, meaning different things to different people.
This brings me nicely onto the three books I will be focussing on for this post; The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Life After Life by Kate Atkinson, and, One Day by David Nicholls.
"People disappeared, reappeared, made plans to go somewhere, and then lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away."
The Great Gatsby, F.Scott Fitzgerald
People that know me well will no doubt be surprised that I have chosen to write about The Great Gatsby. During discussions about classic books, I have been very clear on the fact that after being very excited to read it, I was left with a sense of disappointment. This could be for a number of reasons; it is a very descriptive book, and relatively slow paced. I am also a sucker for a happy ending and it wasn't quite what I'd expected, however upon reflection, its beauty lies in its tragedy, and F. Scott Fitzgerald writes beautifully with some of my favourite quotes having come from Gatsby.
The story of Gatsby is narrated by Nick Carraway, who has recently moved to New York to start work, and is the neighbour of Jay Gatsby, a rather mysterious millionaire, whom no one seems to know much about, but it seems as though the whole city attends his rather extravagant parties. The novel unfolds in the Summer of 1922, and Nick details his developing friendship with Gatsby, capturing the 1920s era with its wealth, decadence and recklessness. Daisy Buchanan, Nick's cousin, plays a key role in Gatsby's story; Gatsby and Daisy had met and fallen in love in 1918, before Gatsby went to serve overseas. In the time that they have been apart, Daisy has married the wealthy Tom Buchanan, and it is no coincidence that Gatsby now lives in a mansion that overlooks Daisy's home, in the hope that one day she will appear. In the five years that they have been apart, Gatsby has concentrated on building his wealth as he sees this as going hand in hand with winning Daisy.
So, how does this link back to fate and destiny? Well upon reading the book, it appeared to me that Gatsby had become so fixated on pursuing Daisy, seeing that as his wealth grew so did the certainty that him and Daisy would be together, that he had attempted to force what he believed to be his destiny. In doing so, he seemed unable to determine between reality and fantasy. To me, this is equally as dangerous as being passive and letting moments pass you by. I never quite reached a conclusion in my own head as to whether Gatsby was actually in love with Daisy, or in love with the idea of it.
I think that this is a book that everyone should read at least once; I should mention that I thought the film was excellent...Leonardo Dicaprio was born to play the part of Jay Gatsby!
"Life wasn't about becoming, was it? It was about being."
Life After Life, Kate Atkinson
I am not going to say too much about this book, because to do so would spoil the experience if you haven't already read it. It is so beautifully written, and really makes you pause and think about the consequences of what may seem like insignificant actions at the time, but how big an impact they can have on shaping our future. It makes the reader question whether, given the opportunity, would you want to live your life over and over again, in an attempt to get it right? It made me think about what 'getting it right' would mean, and the conclusion that I came to was that the decisions and mistakes that we make are the right thing for us at the time that we make them (although it doesn't always feel like that upon reflection!).
At the start of the book, set in the Winter of 1910, a baby dies at birth; the story then starts again and tells the tale of the baby if she were to live…and so this continues throughout the book. It perfectly captures the idea of fate and destiny, and looks at whether we are responsible for changing the course of our own lives, or whether our fate is inevitable. I can't recommend this book enough - if you take nothing else from this blog, please at least follow this recommendation!
"Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance."
One Day, David Nicholls
I have a confession…I have never fully recovered from this book! It made me laugh, cry, and gave me hope, whilst breaking my heart. My friend Rachael gave me the book to read when we were living together, and I remember walking into her room sobbing after finishing it, to ask her why she would put me through such an ordeal! Don't let this put you off though, I promise you it is worth it.
The book begins in 1988, on the day that Emma and Dexter are graduating from Edinburgh University, They meet that day, and spend the night together, discussing their futures and where they see themselves being at 40. They remain in touch over the years, forming a strong friendship which meets its own challenges throughout different points of their lives. Each chapter moves a year ahead, detailing where both Emma and Dexter are in their individual lives, and also in their relationship…which is for the most part a friendship. I don't think I would be spoiling it to say that it is clear from the beginning that Emma and Dexter are meant to be together, but are kept apart due to a number of setbacks, missed opportunities, bad timing, a reluctance to recognise their feelings for each other, and just sheer bad luck.
It certainly leaves you with the message that life is indeed short, and we should live for every moment, as cliched as that sounds. Having first read this six years ago, I think I might just about be ready to go back and revisit it…or maybe not!
I am conscious that I have focused on fiction to consider the roles that fate and destiny play in our lives, so I thought I would use a real life example to show that some things are meant to be, but we have some responsibility in recognising it and taking steps to get us there. My close friend, Jessica, who has actually been more of a sister given the close friendship between our mums, told me the story of how her and her now fiancé Ben met, and how they came to be together, and said that I could use it for my blog. I know you shouldn't have favourites, and certainly shouldn't announce it publicly, but after seeing them together they are my favourite couple! This is their story in her words (I love it!)…
"We met on a drunken night on holiday in Cyprus, my first night and Ben's last but one night. I was slumped in a chair drunk and Ben wrote a note from across the room for the waitress to give to me. I was so excited I confronted him about the note, and Ben told me he thought I was the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, and the fact that I was Welsh was a bonus! He realised how drunk I was, so wrote me another note and hid it in my bag to remind me that we had arranged to meet the following night, good job he did because I wouldn't have remembered!! We had an amazing night and of course danced the night away [Jess and Ben love to dance as you can see in the photo!] and in the morning said our goodbyes. We stayed in touch for a couple of months later but I decided that long distance wasn't what I wanted and ended it. Ben kept saying that he felt like we were giving up on something amazing but I still said no. About three months later, the maternity cover on my job ended and I either had to find another one or I was told there were jobs available in London. Since I was 18 I had always said that I wanted to move to London so thought I'm just going to do it. As soon as I moved I called Ben and told him I was now in London, and asked if he would be my London friend because I was on my own. We went out for dinner on my first week, and then planned a day of being a tourist for me a week later, after that we were inseparable and have been ever since. If it wasn't for my job not having a position for me in Cardiff, I wouldn't be where I am now, and me and Ben wouldn't be together."
So you see, the stories that we read in books are actually based on something that can happen to us at any given moment…so as a conclusion I guess what I've learned from the books I've read, my experiences, and the experiences of others, is to trust your instincts, realise that worrying isn't going to change anything, and that making a fool of yourself isn't going to kill you, it may just get you to where you need to be!
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